preconceived notions

So before I begin -- Thanks to Big Mike Lewis for reminding me that it was most likely his blog where I heard about John Burke's No Perfect People Allowed. I read his blog regularly, but couldn't seem to find the posts I recalled seeing. Upating that front, I am still reading the book and enjoying it thoroughly. I seem to be reading this one a bit more slowly than my usual pace, but I think it is because there is a lot to absorb and think about.

Moving on to the topic of the day -- ever have one of those days where you have some elaborate scene worked up in your mind that you are so sure you will encounter? Not only are you sure the encounter will happen, but you almost look forward to it even though you envision it being a somewhat argumentative confrontation? I have a tendency to do this, it probably has something to do with the fact that in real life I would rarely thrash someone verbally in public despite how much they incited me; though there have been times I have come close to doing so. There is a church community that I visit infrequently, partly due to the inevitable, insensitive, ungenerous words of the preacher (in my opinion) that just burn me up. I have come to expect this when I go, which is the reason that I had not been there since Easter -- which was a particularly bad experience. Don't get me wrong, the guy has the best intentions and from what I can tell he doesn't say the things that get under my skin just to get a rise out of me. There are apparently just some areas where he and I don't even come close to seeing eye-to-eye, and I believe it is to the detriment of the community of believers and the local community they are trying to reach.

Today I was spared the confrontation I had envisioned in my head as they had a guest speaker. However, the spiritual climate in that church community has altered significantly since my last visit, and from what I can tell it is for the better. I noticed little differences in the way things were done or said, and I hope what I noticed is truly becoming the norm. Preconceived notions aren't healthy, since obviously change is always in the mix, which I know from personal experience. Knowing that people can change, and accepting that it will occur on a timetable we cannot fully understand, life can be a lot less stressful. Certainly that doesn't mean we should kick back and just let things take their own course if we have something to say - I may not have said anything publicly in the past, but my concerns were voiced in other avenues - but we should recognize that since we are all imperfect people, we need each other desperately so we don't keep screwing things up. Cynicism and judgementalism do not help anyone -- a lesson I learn often.

check perfection at the door

Been away this past week attending the annual team meeting for work. Good times overall, visiting with co-workers/friends and hearing some non-technical material. But as always, it's good to be home.

So as is my usual mode of operation, I've been reading a good book. I'm not done with it yet, so far I think I am about halfway through. I usually don't like to write about a book until I've finished it, but this is one of those few exceptions. I went to the store originally intending to pick up Leonard Sweet's Out of the Question, Into the Mystery, but alas the shelf was barren of the title despite the computer insisting it was there. However, not to be defeated, I continued scouring the shelves thinking someone had simply misplaced the book as is typically the case. In my search I came across No Perfect People Allowed by John Burke, the title caught my attention and I would swear that I had seen that someone else who's blog I frequent had been reading it (of course I cannot find that now either). The subtitle of the book is just as intriguing - Creating a Come-as-You-Are Culture in the Church. So I flipped the book open to read the synopsis/description that the book jacket offered, and then decided that this book sounded more interesting in the moment than the other elusive book (though I'll still probably try to find it some other time).

To make a long story short - halfway through the book, I am constantly teetering between forging ahead and quitting. The content is excellent, the personal stories are riveting, and the concepts are spot on with the kind of community I've been feeling is needed both in my life and in our current culture. The problem is, while reading the book, I feel like through it God is shining a really bright spotlight on some personal/spiritual weaknesses I am always had but never acknowledged. I recognize my own need for much of what is presented (small groups, spiritual "running" partner, etc.) and yet at the same time I don't want it - because I know it will force me to face things which I have until now felt much more comfortable sweeping under the rug till later. No it's not that I have any major skeletons in the closet, but there are things I have real trouble sharing. Whether it be because of the control factor or exposure factor, I just don't like the idea of facing what I know I need. Regardless, I will finish the book, it is very good and I highly recommend it. More later...

painful prayer

It's sad really, the idea that as Christians many of us have been taught that when it comes to prayer, ask and you shall receive, is the de facto understanding. While certainly we were also told that God is not Santa who will grant you that shiny new toy just because you asked for it, matters of the heart are supposedly solved when we take them to the Lord. Rarely, if ever, are we told about the flipside of the coin, where prayers are not answered the way we want them to be. We pray for the sick and afflicted people we know, asking for healing, always assuming that things will turn out in our favor. It's not always fair, but that's not always in the cards and sometimes we must be dealt a losing hand. I mean think about it, if we had our way we would be praying that every friend and family member we knew would stay healthy all the time and no one would ever die. While it seems rather utopian, this world is made up of a finite amount of resources which would not go far if over-population ran rampant - then our prayers for food and shelter would have to be fulfilled miraculously. I am not trying to be sarcastic about a serious topic, but just making a point. We are not being shown how to pray our way through unavoidable hardship, but rather we are taught to assume we can pray our way around it.

There is a prime example of praying about unavoidable turmoil, and it shows that even the best sometimes don't want face the pain we know is coming. Take a look at Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane - Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, and Luke 22:39-46 - check out all 3 at Bible Gateway. Jesus knew what was coming, but he didn't want to face it. We certainly don't have the full text of everything he was praying and thinking, but I can guess that was much more above and beyond his plea to find another way if possible. I would bet he prayed fervently that some spark would ignite in the hearts of the nation of Israel; a spark of understanding about who he was and what his message was about, so they would turn their lives around without his sacrifice at their hands. What more could he have asked for than for the chosen people of God to fulfill their destiny to be a blessing to all nations without that blessing costing his life.

So many people that I have met through this blog have voiced the same frustration with prayer when it comes to dealing with painful situations. I struggle with prayer myself, and I don't often consciously sit down and pray, but I have concerns in my heart and on my mind constantly. I worry about a friend in my neighborhood who was diagnosed with cancer; I am concerned for the spiritual and physical health of Amanda, especially with her latest struggles; my heart aches at the tragedy that has taken place this year which is probably the worst year of natural disaster after natural disaster (definitely in my lifetime, if not on record); not to mention the current media frenzy about a possible pandemic breakout of avian flu. Obviously, some of these hit closer to home than others, but the point is the same. With a world that seems like it is spinning out of control and about to fly apart at the seams, which for many of us can be on a personal scale, what do we do? Certainly the trite answer is often to keep our faith in the Lord, and trust that things will pull through and work out for the best. Does that sugary outlook on life sit well in your stomach? Would that bring any measure of comfort to you in the midst of deep anguish of the soul? I hate ranting, but that's what is coming now... we need the leaders in our midst to wake up and face reality - it can be a bleak, painful world out there, and telling people that praying about it will make everything all better doesn't cut it. It's no great wonder that when people hit rock bottom emotionally and spiritually, they abandon the church. When you are hanging on by a thread, desperate for something in your luck to change, do you really want to see someone with a happy-go-lucky grin on their face telling you to just place your trust in Jesus and everything will be better? I don't know about you, but I'd probably be on the verge of throwing a punch if I encountered a situation like that.

However, on a more positive note, there are people out there who know a better way around this. These are the counselors to the pained people, someone willing to just listen and help you ease your burden by just hearing you out. They don't offer trite answers or simple solutions, but rather listen and wait... and perhaps pray for you to find whatever it is you need (not want). They don't offer unsolicited advice, instead waiting to be asked a question that they can perhaps provide feedback for and no more. Jesus didn't dole out warmed-over, simplistic answers and he certainly never said that life was supposed to be easy... so why is that our knee-jerk reaction to tough questions and painful situations?

of heaven and pi

Since I have been trying to get back to a more relaxed state of mind, which is where I feel I do my best work and best thinking, a friend of ours lent me a couple books to read. Consequently, this happens to be the same person I have been lending books to concerning some faith struggles and questions, so I guess we are starting our own book exchange now. Anyway, knowing the kind of books that I have been reading and recommending to her, she tossed me Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven and Yann Martel's Life of Pi.

Since work was still keeping me busy, I decided to start on the shorter of the two books, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Not to give a book report or review, but I really liked this book overall. The concept was very intriguing, since we all at some point wrestle with what will happen to us when we die and if you believe in it, what the afterlife will be like. Rather than concentrating on a joyous reunion celebration version of heaven, Albom truly gets down to what we all really want to know - why did my life turn out the way it did, did I serve a purpose, did I make an impact on anyone? By highlighting some of the smallest details of the main character's life (Eddie), the story comes full circle and enlightens him about his own life through the story of others. Personally, I think that would be the greatest treasure that could be bestowed on someone after they have entered the presence of God, to be shown how one's life fit into God's eternal story.

After finishing the first book, I took a short break before starting Life of Pi. However, when I finally jumped into it, I went in with the warning ahead of time that the book starts out slowly but gets very good if you are patient. I was not disappointed, since the later part of the book is a lot of great internal struggles and philosophical reflection. I would say, however, that while the beginning of the book is slower, it contains very good background information that comes into play. I don't think I can do justice to the book with any summary or explanation of the book, so I won't. To pique your interest though, it is about a teenage Hindu-Christian-Muslim who ends up as the lone survivor after the cargo ship he is on sinks in the Pacific Ocean. And by lone survivor, I mean the lone human aboard a life boat with a zebra, hyena, orangutan, and Bengal tiger. I had been curious about the book in the past, having seen it on the shelf at bookstores, and I am truly glad that I read it.

Both books have been very popular in the online bookstore rankings at various times, and they are well deserved. However, I liked them not only for their excellent storytelling, but also for the way that I well spiritually refreshed while reading them. These books I felt provided some interesting tidbits to chew on from a spiritual and faith side of things. While one book confronts you head on with the conclusion that heaven exists and then fills in how the little and big things affect us, the other brings up some interesting situations and background information to put a bug in your head, and then plays out a moral struggle - subconsciously daring you to question the rightness or wrongness of the character's faith.

While I am not sure that either book was intended to inspire the faith of people, I think they both do an excellent job at it. They both challenged me to think, question, understand, and in the end both inspired me to continue loving God and all people (though that still doesn't mean I have to like all people)...

speed of work and presumptuous prayer

First and foremost, I feel I must shout a "Right On! Amen!" to Mike Cope's post from much earlier this week. Seeing as I have been working on a variety of different tasks at work, dealing with homeowner association issues, and generally trying to get a few contiguous moments to stop and catch my breath, I feel I can relate to his sentiment about just wanting to retreat to a place of solitude to relax. I can also feel that when I am less stressed, I tend to be happier and have more energy. On the flipside, when I am stressed out I tend to get depressed, irritable, and I lose interest in things I normally find joy in. Since I am writing now, I have obviously found time to unwind a bit from my latest marathon of life, otherwise things would have remained quiet. While my workload really hasn't subsided all that much, some other areas of my life have slowed down (by actions I took to make it so) and I have been much happier overall. So on to the next topic...

I don't know if any of you out there watch The Amazing Race, but this past week they started up the new season/contest. This time around instead of teams of two, they opted to make it a family affair. Teams comprising of 4 family members (in any permutation you can think of, not just the typical parents and kids) are all competing in a race around the world for a million dollars. Normally, we watch this show to see what kinds of challenges the teams face not only as part of the competition but also in how they handle the strains put on the relationships. Now the reason I feel this is particularly blog-worthy is not because of some particularly interesting destination or challenge, but rather because I feel that one team is being a bit presumptuous. A mother and her 3 kids (son and 2 daughters) are competing in the race, and part of their story is that 2 years ago they lost their husband/father in an accident at the Daytona speedway. I am not completely heartless, and I can understand their grief and am inspired by the way they have stayed close as a family in the wake of such loss. However, I take serious offense from the fact that they have a tendency to flaunt their Christianity on television as if Jesus is their 5th team member. The pinnacle of this behavior was while trying to find their way along the first leg of the race, they literally prayed for the Lord to help them find the place they were looking for so they could come in first. I don't know, but I don't exactly think that God is going to go out of the way to help a family win prizes along a race to win a million dollars. I'm sure this family is very nice and I do hope they do well in the race, but the portrayal of Christianity they are putting out there on national television is just a reinforcement of the stereotypes that Christians in the United States have earned over the decades.

Ok, next time I promise I'll try to write something that actually will be spiritually challenging or uplifting. I really don't like to rant, but this has been bugging me since Tuesday.