round one responses

A couple of weeks, a couple of questions, and now some responses. I'll apologize in advance, as I must not have been getting a refreshed page each time I checked the site (possibly a side-effect of migrating my blog to the new beta interface). Here I went a full week thinking no one had responded!

Trust and Openness
In response to my previous post, church regrouping, Jim brought up some key points of what will make ReGroup sink or sail. Trust and openness go hand in hand when attempting to create a safe environment for people to share and grow. Obviously, trust is something earned, so part of that process means that everyone understands the ground rules and someone has to start the cycle. Those ground rules being something of the variety: we respect each other's opinions even if we don't agree; we don't pass judgment on each other's personal decisions; criticism is to be done from an honest and loving attitude, without bitterness or vindictiveness; stories shared in confidence are to be kept within the group, only to be shared outside the group with the permission of the one who shared. When I say someone needs to start the cycle, I mean that openness starts with someone opening up. Since I'm going to be the initiator of the first ever incarnation of ReGroup, my most important job is to share my story honestly in small bites and ensure that others begin to feel they can trust me and each other to share their own stories and experiences. And obviously, as Jim mentioned, trust also comes from getting to know each other in different scenarios, so the ability to change up the format and venue allows different people's personality to shine through.

Living the Busy Life
As a response to a brief additional comment that Jim made, I felt it would be good to bring up that constant nagging aspect of the current American way of life: over-scheduling. We can get so busy in our lives that we often feel we couldn't possibly fit another thing into our schedules. However, it is interesting to note that we often find time to squeeze in things that we want to do, and use the "busy" excuse when something we should do comes up but don't necessarily want to do it. In order to avoid falling prey to the over-scheduling aspect, I think the ability to keep things flexible becomes crucial. Setting a regular day and time should be done, but with the caveat that should the need arise to move to another day or time it can be done to accommodate the group. As for the want/need problems... my advice would be the same for say, golf. If you want to play more golf, but don't often have time, you have to make the time. If it is something important to you, then you will find the time to do it. In this instance, you have to be willing to break the cycle of your life. Another golf analogy: you'd like to buy new clubs, but you don't play that often due to your schedule so you don't feel you can rationalize new clubs; however, if you bought the new clubs, wouldn't you make time in your schedule for more golf the next year in order to make the purchase worthwhile? Short version, you're only as busy as you allow yourself to become, and you are in charge of your schedule -- your schedule is not in charge of you. (Then again, I am an optimist...)

Keeping it Intimate
I think ideally that if the group can stay under 10 people, it would be to a greater benefit to the group's self-determined goals. I say this because smaller groups have a tendency to foster greater intimacy and stronger relationships between people. However, that doesn't mean that the group couldn't swell to above 15 people for a given meeting or event. One of the other important aspects is that the group should always feel open and inviting to anyone and everyone, so obviously there wouldn't be a group bouncer who turned the 16th person away. The key here is that the small nature of the group is designed to foster relationships and encourage strong bonds so that we can help each other in our journeys.

Evolving with Change
In order for the group to remain flexible, authentic, and relevant, it needs to be able to cope with change in group dynamics. One of the most obvious kinds of change is the fluid nature of the group. Everyone in the group, especially those committed to the community for the long haul, need to recognize that the group may serve some people for a short time. Hopefully, those we help will stay in touch, but we don't require them to stay in the group forever. Another kind of change to deal with is change brought on by growth, when the group starts getting close to 15 people or above on a regular basis. At that point, the best scenario is for at least 3 or 4 people to make the commitment to spin off another group. They wouldn't have to spin into a completely autonomous entity if they didn't want to; as Jim mentioned, I think drifting between groups would be good and occasional multi-group organized activities would be even better. Another kind of change might even be a group deciding that rather than spinning another networked-yet-independent group from itself, they choose to set down roots and form a somewhat more traditional church body -- weekly services, classes, leadership team, preacher(s), and of course ReGroups.

I like to think of the growth process like gardening; tomatoes for example. You plant the seeds, water them, ensure they get proper sunlight, remove weeds that would impede growth, and in the end you hopefully have a healthy plant that bears ripe tomatoes. But that's not the end, those tomatoes are chock full of seeds, which you could reserve during meal preparation for a couple of purposes. You could use the seeds to increase your yield of tomatoes next year, you could share the seeds with a friend to help them establish their own tomato garden, you could give the seeds to a school and offer to help teach children about how plants grow with them, etc and so on. The only limitation is the the self-placed one.

Keep the questions, ideas, and comments coming... they only help to further define an explore the many facets of ReGroup!

polling in spirit

Considering that I've been told that there are some people out there who are reading this blog to hear more about ReGroup as I weave things together in preparation for an official kickoff, I figured information about it should be gathered in the spirit of the idea.

What do I mean by that exactly? Quite simply, rather than you passively reading my blog and wondering when I'll next toss some intellectual and practical morsels about ReGroup, it's your opportunity to contribute and interact. I want to know, those of you who are intrigued by the concept or excited about the idea, what questions do you have? What comments or concerns come to mind when you think about this endeavor? Or to put a different spin on things, did you read or hear my initial description and think that it was something you would love to start or join yourself? Let me know!

I could keep writing things as I think of them and work them out, but the fact that there are people wanting to know more and not knowing what questions they have makes it hard for me to write more about ReGroup. If I don't hear much, then I'll shift to some other topics that I've back-burnered for a while. If I hear a lot, maybe I'll consider spinning off a separate blog to tackle the subject in-depth -- which I may do eventually anyway.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing all your questions and comments, constructive feedback is always appreciated!

church regrouping

So, I know I have some people out there who have been waiting to hear more about this whole ReGroup thing that I am hashing out, so I guess I have a bit more worked out that I can share. So I'd like to share 2 things: how does one introduce the concept; and when I say ReGroup isn't church but at the same time it is church, what exactly does that mean?

For those who might have heard Paul and I speak at the ACU Lectureship, obviously the final day was one way that the concept can be shared. Essentially, I read an abridged version of my post, the time of regrouping. However, as some have expressed to me, that explanation really only whets the appetite for more information. Because of this, I've been working on a flexible agenda that I can use to kickoff the first ever meeting of a ReGroup community. As I've seen, sometimes the best way to start something is to make sure everyone understands what defines the mission. The first and most important items on my kickoff meeting agenda are: What is ReGroup? What is ReGroup NOT?

So what is ReGroup?

• A community where one can safely explore issues of life and faith.
• A community which supports one another in the face of great joy and terrible pain.
• A community that accepts people for who/where they are in their journey.
• A community which stands ready to help each other take the next step in their journey.
• A community who welcomes in those hurting from the abuses of today's society.
• A community that values who you are and who you want to be, more than who you were.
• A community that can change and adapt to meet the needs of the group.
• Whatever you want and need ReGroup to be...
  

(Catching a trend there...)
Obviously, in order for a lot of that to work in practice, a ReGroup community probably can't grow much larger than say 15 people before it starts to compromise the intimate dynamics that a smaller group can offer. Also, when I say ReGroup can be whatever you want/need it to be, I mean exactly that. Which leads me to the next question...

In that case, what is ReGroup NOT?

• A Bible study.
• A church small group.
• A discussion group.
• A book club.
• A devotional.
• A social outing or event.
• An informal counseling session.
  

However, at the same time, it can take the form of any of those should the need arise. One thing that ReGroup can never be though, is an exclusive group of friends. Building friendships is core to the growth and success of ReGroup, but exclusivity will stop it dead in its tracks and undermine everything it stands for. I suppose one other thing ReGroup can never become is some form of a 3/6/12 step program for fixing your faith. If there's anything I've learned through my own spiritual wrestling, it's that there is no single, guaranteed way to find and build a faith that works for everyone. There are common threads, but weaving those threads into a living faith is different for everyone.

So, now that the basic idea has been laid out there, why is ReGroup not church and yet still church? What makes this community a new and different kind of church? Honestly, I make no claim that this idea of mine is some kind of new and revolutionary form of church that I alone invented. There are threads of ideas that I have taken and woven together into a vision of a community built on faith that meets a need that I see being overlooked. Take the idea of organic church for instance, the concept of taking the kingdom of God into places where life happens and culture is formed -- instead of taking people out of those places. There's a book on the topic that I've heard quite a bit about that I want to check out: Organic Church: Growing Faith Where Life Happens by Neil Cole. Then there's always a favorite book of mine, No Perfect People Allowed: creating a Come As You Are culture in the church by John Burke, which describes how Gateway Community Church came about in the Austin, TX area and began building bridges to cross the cultural divide between church and life in a "postmodern" world. Now think about the terms that have also floated around about liquid or fluid church, wherein the idea is that church flows out and fills into new spaces that it couldn't get to as a "solid" church -- it's flexible. Then there's the house church movement, which at times can look exactly like a mainstream church in form and function, but located outside a stereotypical church building, typically in someone's house (or rotating amongst the homes of the community members). Lastly, I suppose I reflected on how youth groups and college groups typically interact within existing church communities, and I asked myself the questions: "Why is it that in most churches only the teenagers and college students have organized activities beyond Bible studies and devotionals? Why are the youth the only ones who gather on a regular basis outside the walls of the church building for friendship building activities?"

Those are some of the church related ideas that lead me to believe that ReGroup is a form of church, albeit a very different form. After all, I doubt very much that ReGroup will ever have anything that resembles a worship service, at least in the traditional sense of the term. Then again, nothing says ReGroup couldn't have a dedicated time of semi-traditional worship, if that's something a ReGroup community had the gifts, resources, and desire to do. However, the principle that I think drives ReGroup is the understanding that you are gathering together in order to share and express your faith, while helping each other live out the Way and the Life that Christ's message painted for us.

Cheers! And thanks for reading...

all about books

I was "tagged" to answer these questions, and so without any ado, here they are with my answers...

A book that changed my life: I would have to say, that in recent memory a book that has changed my life would be A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren. The main reason is because in reading it, I saw a reflection of some of my own struggles with questions for which I didn't know the answers or had developed unconventional answers. After reading that book, I began my current book binge that includes a much healthier mix of NY Times best-sellers, Star Wars novels, and new Christian authors.

A book I’ve read more than once: Surprisingly, there are very few books that I've read more than once, primarily because I have a fairly decent memory for a book's major plot line once I've read it. After that the reading becomes a refresher course in the details. However, I have read I, Jedi by Michael A. Stackpole a couple of times, and I'm about halfway through A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren for the second reading.

A book I would take with me if I were stuck on a desert island: As a nod to a comedian I once heard, Ardal O'Hanlon; "She asked me for two books I'd take with me to a desert island, and I didn't like the threat implied in the question. I said that the first would be a big, inflatable book, and the second would be How to make oars out of sand." Honestly though, I think I would hope that before becoming stranded on a desert island that I had in my possession a copy of either The Lord of the Rings, or the original Star Wars trilogy (both of which are available with the entire trilogy in a single volume).

A book that made me laugh: I know I've read a couple, but I can't remember which ones, but basically any Dave Barry book is hilarious. I also love his articles at the Miami Herald.

A book that I wish had been written: "Facing the Truth: Realizing you can't be right about everything all the time and learning that this is okay"

A book that I wish had never been written: Honestly, I can't think of a book that I disliked enough to wish its existence undone. I try to only read books that I feel will be a good read, or that friends have recommended. Although I will say, The Fingerprint of God by Hugh Ross nearly put me to sleep and Hard Times by Charles Dickens DID put me to sleep. I wouldn't necessarily wish they never were written though.

A book I’ve been meaning to read: I actually have a few on my site here already, but I will add here Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith by Rob Bell. I've heard a lot of good things about it, and I now have a copy of it (thanks Allen!). I just need to find time to read it.

I’m currently reading: I'm still reading Emerging Churches (by Gibbs & Bolger), and I am about to start The Dante Club by Matthew Pearl. I also have A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren, which when I am in-between books I pick up and continue reading my way through for a second time. While I could also start up Velvet Elvis, I'm going to wait until I finish Emerging Churches... and I am getting a craving for a good Star Wars series, which I have not been reading lately – I think picking up where I left off in the New Jedi Order series is probably in order.

I’m Tagging the Following Bloggers to answer these questions:
Anyone who reads my blog and feels like answering the questions.

I'm not big on chain mail or chain email forwards, I always "break" them. Why should I be any different with this chain blog topic? So feel free to take these questions back to your own blog to answer or if you don't have a blog and want to respond, leave your answers in a comment. If you do answer them at your blog, please drop me a comment letting me know; I'd love to read what books influence you.