quail springs church

I forgot about this church that I started attending during my last year at Oklahoma Christian. It's a bit strange that I would forget about it, because it was really the only church where I started to feel a little bit comfortable... at least I think, I honestly don't remember a whole lot about it other than they were a much more progessive/liberal church for that area. Anyway, the church popped into my head today so I visited their website, and I found some interesting info, including a really neat sermon - check it out:

Quail Springs Church Sermon Series: What's the Big Deal About Baptism

There is some really good stuff in the last sermon, Questions & Answers About Baptism. Moved me to want to "come forward" and express some thoughts that it evoked... unfortunately I am 1500 miles away and a few years late. Apparently I could have heard it in person, which I might have, but I think I missed that week.

growing an unstable faith

Just a (somewhat) short thought for today, and old thought of mine but a new one for here...

You ever gone whitewater rafting? Skydiving? Found yourself momentarily out of control on a ski slope? Or generally been caught in a unexpected situation where you had to think on your feet? Those can be scary moments and we typically find our minds racing faster than normal. We might get an adrenaline rush from the experience that is brought on by the fear inherent in the moment. However, after we make it through unscathed, we are able to look back and realize that we are now better because of the experience. The next time we are faced with the same activity or situation, we don't find ourselves mentally scrambling quite so frantically. The fear doesn't take over as much of the experience and instead we can enjoy new aspects we never noticed before. Take skiing for example, yes those who know me well know this is something near and dear to my heart. The first time you learn to ski there is the fear of going too fast, not knowing how to turn or stop effectively, and a myriad of other concerns. As you get better and gain more experience you tend to stop being concerned with stopping, turning, or speed and instead concentrate on reading the terrain or maybe enjoying the views as you make your way down the trails. Maybe you start noticing the interactions that take place in your joints, limbs, boots, and skis as they perform the fluid mechanics that make up your skiing. You slowly benefit from those struggling times when you venture into unknown territory. However, just because you have experience doesn't mean that new or novice things can't shock you from time to time (like having a edge slip out from under you on some particularly slick ice, or the danger and excitement of skiing through the trees).

I think faith is like experience in those examples. No one ever doubts that you are constantly gaining new experiences, but some people tend to see faith as something of a more static nature. You have faith or you don't; you have a strong faith or you are losing/struggling with faith. I believe that when we struggle with our faith, question our faith, doubt our faith, that we utlimately come out better for the effort. Just because we struggle with faith doesn't mean we are losing faith, but rather giving up the struggle would be the loss. Coming out of the struggle makes your stronger, gives you renewed hope and belief in your faith, yourself, and God. I've told many people that I am proud to be referred to as a struggling Christian, because to me there is no better compliment. By struggling with my faith, I keep it active, ever renewed, and close to my heart.

window to the soul

No, I'm not talking about eyes, but rather dreams. Last night I had an interesting dream, it was probably a culmination of all the things on my mind but it seemed very real at times. So first let me start by giving a brief overview of my fairly typical day yesterday. Between tasks at work I browsed my favorite blogs and websites, essentially catching up on news of the day and reading interesting Christian articles or musings. At the end of my day I decided to download and listen to one of Brian McLaren's sermons entitled Thank God It's Monday: Finding Meaning in Your Work, it was a fresh perspective on how you can view your daily job in the context of Christianity. Lastly, I decided to start a list of churches in the area that I would like to start checking out, when we are not running around the Northeast on weekends. In starting the list, I tried to look beyond a church's affiliation or name, and glean some information about the health and overall mindset of the community. And yes, this meant that a church going on my list had to have at least some minimum form of a website. I actually find a website to be a step in the right direction, for me it indicates a recognition that the Internet exists and people do research churches online -- look at me, I am a prime example.

So, now back to the task at hand, the dream. Claire and I went to church, one that I had decided to visit. The building was large and had that new "contemporary cathedral" feeling, but at the same time it was inviting. Since it was a dream, I don't remember there being a sermon or singing or prayer, but I do remember communion. They passed around the bread, which tore like it was a tortilla or pita, but it had a savory, sweet taste. They passed around the cup, and it was literally a cup, not the little separated juice thimbles. The liquid in the cup wasn't wine or grape juice, it instead was an invigorating golden colored refreshment. Since we were near the back I noticed that they seemed a bit overwhelmed in collecting back up the communion plates, so I got up to help and it felt completely natural and comfortable to do so. I gathered up some plates, and with my arms nearly full, trying not to drop anything, I followed the others in to a different room. On the way there I noticed that the entire church was suddenly empty, which was odd (obviously). As we put the remains of communion away, we started chatting and they told me that this week's communion was actually comprised of beer and some kind of preserved meat. Since I was obviously surprised to hear this, they explained that they switch up the communion symbols so that people focus on the spiritual meaning not the items themselves. We walked outside and I saw that all the church members hadn't disappeared, they were outside enjoying themselves - children playing, adults chatting, and all out in the open. Claire came outside, lead by some of wives of the guys I was with (we were all fairly close in age - that 23-35 group), and they joined up with us in conversation. I asked the guys if they had ever heard or read anything about emergent, and recognition registered on all their faces and so did caution. They explained that they had, but that the church leadership was not accepting of it in a widespread fashion. Individuals were free to pursue, but the concepts and ideas were not going to be shared during normal church services. I started to ask them about getting together, whether for study, discussion, or socializing, and they seemed to like the idea. Then the dream started unraveling and I woke up.... with the persistent thought of small group gatherings.

While this is most likely nothing more than my subconscious sorting through all the drifting thoughts of the day, it does give me hope. Hope that I will find a church home, and hope that I will find others who think like I do in my area. But if I find myself sitting in church savoring a communion of beer and meat with a bunch of joyful, smiling people... I'll know I'm home.

religious parallels with Warner Bros.

I find this a bit amusing, it was brought to my attention when I read an article over at ginkworld.net. Warner Bros. has decided that after 57 years, it's finally time to generate a new version of the Looney Toons that will strike a chord with today's kids. There are numerous articles on the news sites, these were the ones I found most informative:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05048/458932.stm
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/tv/articles/0218looney.html
http://www.nypost.com/commentary/22021.htm

While the characters have been radically updated visually and the storyline of the show is drastically different (superpowers are now standard, not a per skit basis), the overall morality - using the term somewhat loosely since this is a cartoon - has not been changed. Putting it another way, its the same concept and cast of characters but an updated perspective to reach the kids of today. Does that mean that kids of today are more stubborn or that they have shorter attention spans? Personally, I don't think so... I know when I was growing up that I wouldn't sit still for a cartoon that I thought was boring or simplistic by that day's standard. Kids today are exposed to more complex technology and have become accustomed to more complex entertainment. As the articles imply, the classic characters are not being casually tossed aside or lampooned for current day ineffectiveness. Think about it, 57 years have gone by and neither Bugs or Daffy have undergone any changes. Sure they may have been dropped into a few new shows, but overall their looks and basic show genre has not changed.

If some of the world's longest running icons of the cartoon world have finally been re-imagined because of their lack of reach, imagine what could happen if we as Christians were open to meeting the world where it is now! We do not denounce our predecessors; we praise the advances that were brought and reflect and pray on the wrong turns. It has often been said that we should not forget history, or we are bound to repeat it. However, we should not shy away from change solely because it is different or untested, instead we should be meeting change head on. I think Christians should be like technology's early adopters: we check it out first and find out what the pros and cons are, always with an open mind, a cautious approach, and a firm faith.

update of the quick and simple kind

Been off the radar a bit for the weekend, spent Friday afternoon snowboarding and the rest of the weekend working around the house. We ended up painting the upstairs bathroom and generally taking care of things we had been putting off for a while. Back to the grind today...

While most people who know about my blog also know about my friend Paul's, I wanted to highlight yesterday's entry: Her Faith, My Reasoning

I think it shows the very real way that faith can and should come to people... without rigid educational standards, without public coaching, without presumptions. A vibrant, new faith that was born out of experiencing the community that lives His love.

temptation in the real world

So it may not be a sin, but man am I under attack by serious temptation today. About 3 years ago at around this same time of year, I came across a website that claimed to have THE official script for Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones. I figured that with all the false information that gets generated, and the few tidbits of real information that existed, someone had merely tried to piece together what they thought the movie would be like. Well, I was wrong. The script was dead on about all the major plot points and while it might not have contained every little detail, it contained enough that when I saw the movie in theaters I was awed, but not surprised. I was watching the movie with the expectation of what was supposed to happen according to what I had read. I still enjoyed the movie; I am huge Star Wars fan and always will be. However, with the approach of the final installment, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, I have done my best to avoid filling my heading with too much knowledge of the movie. Only I ran into a problem, somehow in reading my daily dose of spoiler-free Star Wars news over at theforce.net, I stumbled across a link that sent me to the very site that I found the Episode II script 3 years ago. As I scanned the page for the news that I was interested in, the further down I got I found myself reading detailed information about the movie. I checked the navigation links on the side of the page and realized that the site claimed to have the whole script along with the script of every other Star Wars movie. I did my best to resist, by instead reading some of the other information on the site, and so far my will power is holding out - but it got me thinking.

While it may not be sinful, it does represent in all its true colors the kinds of mental games we play on ourselves when we are tempted. We know what we should do and what we should not do, and often we can make the conscious decision to do the right thing. Many times the problem is that we are enticed by an easy way to obtain something we really want, and our challenge is to avoid rationalizing that offer. It is an extremely difficult task when you are battling yourself over an issue. Some temptations are easy to pick out, some are more subtle. Deciding whether or not to read the script of a movie prior to its release obviously is very tempting, not sinful, but a very real battle of wills. And since we are on the Star Wars topic, think of it as the Dark Side - subtle, elusive, tempting, always offering an easy route to the same goal you are pursuing; and by the time you realize you are on the wrong path, it is hard to distinguish where it was you went wrong.

Will I make it all the way to May 19th without reading the full script? I don't know the answer, but I am going to try. Does whether I know the full plot really take away from my experience? Yes and no: the visuals and speed of the action will obviously capture my imagination more than reading alone ever could, but then I would again go into a movie that I have full knowledge of what happens. While some movies I find perfectly fine to this, Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, they were first books and later movies; Star Wars was always written first as a movie and later adapted to a book. In reality, if I do read the script, my life won't be ruined.... but I might feel cheated by myself and disappointed in my lack of will power.

the backdraft of knowledge

An interesting topic has crossed my radar recently: knowledge. Generally, we as a society are proud of knowledge and reward those that demonstrate it and its application best. We strive for academic degrees and certifications that validate our knowledge, and in return the job market opens up to those who succeed in that quest. Overall, this is a good thing and the reason our world is as technologically and economically advanced as it is today. As new technologies become more mainstream, it becomes necessary for them to have a certified safe track record for the vast majority to accept them as a way of life. However, getting that seal of approval requires a lot of research and testing, often it takes years.

That is why I find it a bit odd that we often find ourselves using that same logic when it comes to faith and our beliefs. Sometimes we can discount the ideas of a person who is uneducated in the inner workings of Christianity. We throw around terms like Christology, exegesis, hermeneutics, and eschatology expecting that people who really know what they are talking about must know and understand them. I'm not perfect, nor have I claimed to be, and I too have been caught in this before. I would think to myself, "well that person really never dug into the scripture and they don't really understand it like I do." However, I can usually step back later and try to understand the other point of view; I still may not agree, but it doesn't bother me since I can usually walk away (shaking the dust from my feet so to speak).

I read an article over at ginkworld.net by John O'Keefe, The Blue Card Christian, and this is the type of attitude about knowledge that really upsets me. That attitude takes our societies value of formal knowledge and applies it to faith which is much more personal. I've also been in some discussions over at Christian Forums where ideas or comments are given no weight if one cannot show or prove your credentials. Sadly, it is this kind of behavior and response that sheds an elitist light on the church.

Now that I have thoroughly bashed the concept of higher education in the Christian context, let me say that having had some of this academic exposure has helped me in my walk. I look at these theories, concepts, and research techniques as tools that I keep in my belt for when I have questions. I like to think of them like a Swiss army knife: it folds up neatly and stores in a small pouch so that it is a discrete addition to your wardrobe, not a big flashy medallion or oversized belt buckle. I particularly like these lyrics, as I feel they relate very well, they are from Switchfoot's song Gone:

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred-dollar bills and roto-tom fills
Life is more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings end up in wills
We've got information in the information age
But do we know what life is, outside of our convenient Lexus cages?
She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow brings us closer to the god that's not short of cash!

Sometimes, we let that knowledge take over to the point that we brazenly open every door we come to expecting to have all the answers. Only sometimes we open a door that blows up in our face, like a backdraft of flames.

valentine's day

So I am not feeling particularly philosophical today. It is a bit cold, snowy, and windy, and as such I have opted out of my daily walk for today. But then again, I don't know how my body would respond to such a request today. Spent a great day skiing yesterday up at Stratton. The wife and I met up with my parents and my other skiing relatives. The weather cooperated nicely, providing plenty of sunshine and temperatures in the 20's.

In the morning, I led the way down a pretty nice bump run... of which the group who was with me were mostly not bump skiers, but they all faired well and survived the run. I ended up taking a pretty spectacular crash, clicking out of both skis simultaneously and performing a full mid-air somersault, but I walked away unscathed. It was shortly after this bump run that my feet started hurting pretty badly. Since there is an excellent custom boot fitter in the Stratton Mtn shopping village, during lunch I stopped in to see what they thought. Short version: my flexible feet were searching for support and not finding it, so they molded a custom footbed to replace the factory stock one. With new footbeds in place, my feet seemed to be much happier in the afternoon (and they had better been for the price). I even took an exceptionally long bump run to finish the day to test them out and my feet didn't bother me that much. They did hurt, but probably due to the fact that I tortured them in the morning. I actually felt more pain in my legs (quads to be specific) while going through the bumps, a testament to the additional exercise in that area I need and the fewer breaks I took in the bumps. Now the only thing left to complete my winter season is to get out on my snowboard!

Oh yeah, and its Valentine's Day... which I did know and was fully prepared for. Other than the thought of each day being commercialized, I actually think there should be a "Valentine's Day" more than once a year - maybe 4 times a year, one for every season. I would even go so far as to say once a month or more, because shouldn't we show our love and appreciation for those around us as often as possible?

blinded by the sun

I went out for my usual walk today as it was a fairly nice day: a little cold, a little windy, and the sun was in my eyes. Now I can't read very well because of a multicolored distortion in my vision, no doubt due to the sun's rays being reflected into my eyes for an extended period (Note to self: replace broken sunglasses sooner rather than later). Nothing serious, just like a larger version of that after-image you get when someone takes your picture with that red-eye reducing, epilepsy inducing flash. And then it hit me, it is really hard to focus on what you are doing and do it right when you can't see properly. And everyone who wears glasses smacks their head, "Duh! I could have told you that!" However, that's not what I am talking about, and for your information I wear glasses for reading and working on the computer. It reminded me of this passage (Luke 6:41-42):

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, “Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,” when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.

So I asked myself a similar question. "Am I sure that my vision is clear where my journey of faith is concerned? When discussing matters of faith with others, am I unaware of my own shortcomings or errors while I address theirs?" I certainly hope not, I think that I try to put myself in their position before I speak and verify that what I am doing or saying is valid and true to being a follower of Christ. Well, my temporary vision problem has cleared up, reading and typing are much easier now... but it sure made me think.

truth, seeking, and perspective

I was reading Brian McLaren's open letter to Chuck Colson and the response he received. The letters got me thinking about what exactly we imply when we say we know the truth or that we are seekers.

The two take differing perspectives when it comes to defining truth. Brian, on one hand, approaches it by recognizing that there are many different levels or kinds of truth. By doing this he is acknowledging that, for example, something a Christian holds as truth may not be truth for a non-Christian. He also looks at truth from a more human view: telling the truth (not lying), knowing what is true or real (what can you concretely observe in the world around you), etc. Colson, instead turned to the Truth, you know... the Truth as written in the bible. The problem with truth as it applies to people, is that everything we as a society hold to be true is always filtered through our own current cultural lens. Taking it a step further, our own personal experiences will further filter and refine what we consider to be truth.

Colson states that he is a seeker, and that he knows the Truth. His truth here mainly refers to God's divine revelations to humanity, and his seeking is his attempts to do God's work in the world. I feel, however, that part of being a seeker in a sense implies that you don't know the truth; that part of your journey is to discover bits and pieces as you strive to follow Christ. If you claim to already know the truth, then what are you seeking? To me it would seem that a perspective like that is one of following Jesus with blinders on, you've found the truth and written down - so you are all set and trucking down the road to meet up with Jesus. To me being a seeker is more like orienteering, you know... wandering through the woods with a compass and a map. Your map tells you where you are headed, your compass gives you a way to check your direction, but the landmarks around you are what allow you to verify where you are in the moment. What good is a map if you don't have some kind of compass? Or a compass without a map? Does a map of the Rocky Mountains help if you are hiking in Berkshires? As a seeker, you need to be like an orienteer, constantly stopping to check your surroundings, direction, and progress.

I don't claim to have the truth, nor do I even claim that I am right. To me it feels right, and so far my map and compass seem to be working out fairly well. Again, it all comes down to perspective and how the truths that are revealed to us by God are incorporated in our lives. Trying to spread the message with your own personal perspective can cause more harm than good at times, especially in an intellectual culture like we have in the world today. Just because someone tells me something is true and right is no reason to accept that as absolute truth. I find that if I sit down and dig into it more, question it, really bring my full focus to bear then I can truly understand it and embrace it as my own. You want a really interesting experiment, try this on for size. Sit down someplace quiet and ponder, "Why do I believe that God exists?" The following canned answers (or slight variations there of) do NOT apply for this exercise:

• I read it in the Bible, and I believe it.
• I just look at nature and know.
• I can't explain it, I just do.

If you really think this through, your reason will not be short, it will not be contrived, and it will strengthen your faith. The other added benefit, when someone asks you this question you will be able to sit down with them and give them a deeper, more meaningful answer - one that hopefully will trigger the seeker in them and start them on their quest for God and truth.

fruitful blog surfing

Found this blog today, jason clark, interesting entry about his Ash Wednesday experience. I really like the bit about the matches...

Also found the emergent-us blog, seems like a good place to take stock of what is happening there.

Sidenote, interesting happenings with Brian McLaren... he was part of a panel on Larry King Live. Check out the transcript. Also, there is "review" of sorts here from one of his friends.

benefits and drawbacks of comfort

I've been thinking a lot lately about comfort and it occurred to me that it can be both a blessing and curse. Think about the Dead Sea as an example, and yes I know it is a rather odd example but just go with me on this one. The salinity of the Dead Sea is ten times higher than that of the world's oceans, and because of this unusually high salt content there are some interesting facts. Due to the highly saturated nature of the water, the density is high enough that people literally float in the water with no effort at all (like a cork). Also, the high concentration of minerals makes the water particularly healthy for your skin; it's like a gigantic natural aromatherapy bath. Finally, the Dead Sea is the lowest land elevation on earth and this means that the air is 5% more oxygen-rich. Sounds like a very comfortable place to be, floating on the water, breathing easy, and soaking some minerals into your skin.

Only, now stop and think about what happens when it's time to leave. The higher density of the water makes it difficult to swim; your buoyancy combined with the "thick" water means slow progress. The high salt and mineral content means you cannot drink the water, it would be deadly if ingested (hence the lack of fish in the sea). Once you finally get out of the water, if you couldn't rinse yourself off, the minerals would begin to crystallize on your skin, wick away moisture as it did so, and possible clog the pores causing more harm than it did good. If you spent a long time in the area of the Dead Sea your body would become acclimated to the more oxygenated air, which means upon leaving you would tire more quickly at higher elevations until you reacclimate.

Being comfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless it prevents us from experiencing new things. Having places of comfort gives us an oasis, a place of rejuvenation where we can replenish our health mentally, physically, and spiritually. However, spending too much time in our oasis can cause us to resist changes because of the temporary discomfort that we know it will bring. What if this new place we visit is not as comfortable as what we are used to? What if we cannot do the same things there as we can here? What if (gasp) we actually like the new experiences, then what will happen to our old place of comfort?

Maybe it's just me... I don't fear change, I thrive on new challenges and experiences. For how can you truly know yourself unless you have experienced different people, places, activities, and scenarios that stretch the boundaries of who you are?

it's not about the black smudge

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, although not being Catholic I've never really celebrated or fully understood it. However, my wife is and does, so I decided to join her and attend this service to see what it was all about.

My pre-conceived notion was that the ashes had something to do with Palm Sunday and that was about it. After my wife and I had been engaged, I also found out that Ash Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent - a 40 day period of fasting prior to Easter. It turns out there is a lot more to this annual ritual than getting ashes smudged on your forehead, there is a lot of symbolism. So starting with the obvious - what exactly is the deal with the ashes? Well it turns out I was partially right, the ashes are the saved burnt remains of the palm fronds from last year's Palm Sunday service (celebrating Jesus' triumphant procession into Jerusalem). The ashes are a symbolic acknowledgement of our mortality, that from dust we came and to dust we will one day return. They are marked in the shape of a cross to symbolize ownership to Christ and that you are beginning a fast of penance. While the Day of Ashes is not a Catholic holy day of obligation (if it were, as a Catholic you would have to go), they encourage it since it is a fitting personal committment to spend the season of Lent in prayer, repentance, and humble service.

All in all, it was an enjoyable experience. The priest made some humorous comments about how Ash Wednesday is not all about getting the ashes! I also found it inspiring that he made reference to how many children give up candy for Lent, only to store up what they would have eaten for mass consumption on Easter. Using this example, he challenged everyone to instead to take whatever you choose to abstain from and use it for reaching out to the community; whether that be donating food that you have abstained from, or refocusing your energy towards charitable work. Not being sure whether I was allowed to particpate since I am not Catholic, I sat in silent prayer while everyone got up to receive ashes. Maybe I will do some more research on that because I found it to be a very meaningful ceremony that other Christian communities could benefit from.

trying to curl up in a comfortable blanket

So there I was, out on one of my daily lunchtime walks. Normally, I would walk without any music, instead enjoying the quiet time to reflect on faith, spirituality, and other things as they relate to my life and outlook in this 21st century. Following my walks, I would typically jot down whatever new earth-shattering revelations or perspectives I had mused upon. However, this time was different, I had taken a break from waxing philosophical and instead had popped my new favorite band (Switchfoot) into my Sony NetMD and struck out on my usual route. I still had spiritual issues dwelling in the back of my mind, but instead I let the music and its lyrics take the forefront. That walk was very inspirational, the lyrics that Switchfoot has in their album The Beautiful Letdown are very subtle at first, but also very potent when you go back and really listen. I attempted to sit down and write about that walk, in my own primer for 21st Christianity, but I couldn't do it. Instead I went back and re-read what I had already and reflected on what it was I really was trying to accomplish - and it hit me. I was writing down my perspective and understanding of what 21st century Christianity should be, because I wanted others to believe what I believed. It would become my standard of comparison for church communities, something I could use to determine if they agreed with me. I am actually being a little hard on myself, but the core of what I was trying to do was essentially creating a new, warm and fuzzy blanket of religion that I could curl up in with my spirituality.

You ever notice what happens when you curl up in a blanket? First, you kind of wrestle with the blanket trying to make sure that every part of you is covered up. Then you feel a draft, so you start tucking the blanket in closer around yourself. Perhaps now there is no draft, but its not warm enough so you curl up a little more concentrating your warmth. Finally, everything is perfectly warm and cozy, only problem is now you don't want to move. Now that you are warm and comfortable you don't want to leave where you are or open the blanket up. The blanket which previously was a tool to warm you up, has now become the reason for you to remain static, fixed, unchanging, closed off. The blanket which at first was a really great idea, has now become a self-imposed prison.

I still walk almost everyday, or at least as often as my schedule allows, but no longer hammer out the details of my personal religious beliefs for insertion into my own "Postmodern Christian Primer". I might go back and re-engineer it into a thought-provoking essay about being a technological, scientific, intellectual, philosophical, happily-married 21st century Christian... but that's a topic for another day.