painful prayer

It's sad really, the idea that as Christians many of us have been taught that when it comes to prayer, ask and you shall receive, is the de facto understanding. While certainly we were also told that God is not Santa who will grant you that shiny new toy just because you asked for it, matters of the heart are supposedly solved when we take them to the Lord. Rarely, if ever, are we told about the flipside of the coin, where prayers are not answered the way we want them to be. We pray for the sick and afflicted people we know, asking for healing, always assuming that things will turn out in our favor. It's not always fair, but that's not always in the cards and sometimes we must be dealt a losing hand. I mean think about it, if we had our way we would be praying that every friend and family member we knew would stay healthy all the time and no one would ever die. While it seems rather utopian, this world is made up of a finite amount of resources which would not go far if over-population ran rampant - then our prayers for food and shelter would have to be fulfilled miraculously. I am not trying to be sarcastic about a serious topic, but just making a point. We are not being shown how to pray our way through unavoidable hardship, but rather we are taught to assume we can pray our way around it.

There is a prime example of praying about unavoidable turmoil, and it shows that even the best sometimes don't want face the pain we know is coming. Take a look at Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane - Matthew 26:36-46, Mark 14:32-42, and Luke 22:39-46 - check out all 3 at Bible Gateway. Jesus knew what was coming, but he didn't want to face it. We certainly don't have the full text of everything he was praying and thinking, but I can guess that was much more above and beyond his plea to find another way if possible. I would bet he prayed fervently that some spark would ignite in the hearts of the nation of Israel; a spark of understanding about who he was and what his message was about, so they would turn their lives around without his sacrifice at their hands. What more could he have asked for than for the chosen people of God to fulfill their destiny to be a blessing to all nations without that blessing costing his life.

So many people that I have met through this blog have voiced the same frustration with prayer when it comes to dealing with painful situations. I struggle with prayer myself, and I don't often consciously sit down and pray, but I have concerns in my heart and on my mind constantly. I worry about a friend in my neighborhood who was diagnosed with cancer; I am concerned for the spiritual and physical health of Amanda, especially with her latest struggles; my heart aches at the tragedy that has taken place this year which is probably the worst year of natural disaster after natural disaster (definitely in my lifetime, if not on record); not to mention the current media frenzy about a possible pandemic breakout of avian flu. Obviously, some of these hit closer to home than others, but the point is the same. With a world that seems like it is spinning out of control and about to fly apart at the seams, which for many of us can be on a personal scale, what do we do? Certainly the trite answer is often to keep our faith in the Lord, and trust that things will pull through and work out for the best. Does that sugary outlook on life sit well in your stomach? Would that bring any measure of comfort to you in the midst of deep anguish of the soul? I hate ranting, but that's what is coming now... we need the leaders in our midst to wake up and face reality - it can be a bleak, painful world out there, and telling people that praying about it will make everything all better doesn't cut it. It's no great wonder that when people hit rock bottom emotionally and spiritually, they abandon the church. When you are hanging on by a thread, desperate for something in your luck to change, do you really want to see someone with a happy-go-lucky grin on their face telling you to just place your trust in Jesus and everything will be better? I don't know about you, but I'd probably be on the verge of throwing a punch if I encountered a situation like that.

However, on a more positive note, there are people out there who know a better way around this. These are the counselors to the pained people, someone willing to just listen and help you ease your burden by just hearing you out. They don't offer trite answers or simple solutions, but rather listen and wait... and perhaps pray for you to find whatever it is you need (not want). They don't offer unsolicited advice, instead waiting to be asked a question that they can perhaps provide feedback for and no more. Jesus didn't dole out warmed-over, simplistic answers and he certainly never said that life was supposed to be easy... so why is that our knee-jerk reaction to tough questions and painful situations?