constructive spirituality

Home Office Interior - 5 minutes until the end of the work day...

As is typical in the IT world, all requests come in under the wire and at the last minute possible; this particular day was no different than any other in that respect. A message pops up in my chat client, it's my manager and he wants to know if I am available for a quick call. Being a remote employee, I rarely have the change to chat with my manager (let alone see him) so when the occasion merits it, I try to make time. Since I am often complimented on my work habits and the quality of my work, a call from my manager is never a reason for concern and so I answer the phone and launch into the usual round of friendly conversation that starts with catching up on intangibles (work/life balance stuff mostly). Shortly, my manager jumps right in with the real reason for the call - he's got an opportunity for me and wants to know if I am interested (You didn't think I was going to say I was fired did you?). This particular project was offered to me with the caveat that by taking it I would be getting some experience that could very likely lead to my assignment to another related overseas project next year. Anyone who has known me for the past 2 years would know that this scenario was part of the reason I sought out this job - it's practically my dream job. So when my manager laid the whole scenario out I jumped on it without even thinking twice about it - which he laughed about.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not some kind of eager beaver or overachiever doing whatever it takes to get brownie points so I can climb the corporate ladder as far as it takes me. I jump at challenges and new or interesting projects because I truly enjoy what I do - but I've realized that sometimes it costs me dearly. You see, I also had originally planned to take a week off in August to go relax at the lake with friends and family, which is something we try to do every year. However, because of the timing of events, I pretty much have to reschedule that time off and most likely won't be taking any significant vacation in August. Because of this scenario, there is a small part of me that feels like I have failed myself; I traded family and friends for work. Granted, I am probably being a bit hard on myself since in the long run both the wife and I wanted to be able to travel a bit before we truly settle down - so it wasn't a complete family trade off. Besides, while I did jump on the opportunity out of enthusiasm for my job (and not workaholism), the real problem I had with the situation was the way it contrasted with my spiritual journey in many respects.

Think about the same situation from a more abstract level. You are offered a great opportunity to use your skills in a new and exciting setting, but in exchange it will cost you something that you wouldn't normally think twice about (perhaps something you've been taking for granted). Stereotypically this happens most often in the work environment - work takes precedence, and family life suffers (though my situation is far from the extreme it can take). However, in our spiritual life I think we fall victim to this mindset far more often than we would let ourselves believe, and we are often quite unaware of it. The stereotypical preacher/priest/pastor or church leader would throw the guilt trip down in regards to people skipping Sunday/Wednesday services in favor of more "worldly" pursuits - i.e. sporting events, sleep, work, or whatever else they deem as what is currently wrong with society. Personally, I think that argument is complete and utter garbage - especially when most of the time the people spewing the nonsense offer nothing more than verbal admonishment for not following the norm. If you ask me, the real tragedy comes when we waste our talents and resources on fruitless and trivial things. Do I have the money to buy a brand new Apple Powerbook and iPod, which my geek-side is extremely curious to play with and experience? Sure I could probably afford it, but I don't actually need either item. The same goes for a widescreen TV with surround-sound and all the bells and whistles that go with a home entertainment system. Consumerism aside, I also have free time that I will often fritter away without thinking twice; whether it be fiddling with computers or watching re-runs of CSI, I'm sure there is something more constructive I could be doing.

Spiritually, I frequently feel like there is something else I could be doing with the time and money that I have to encourage or help others on their journey (and mine at the same time probably). Sadly, my spiritual journey sometimes takes a backseat to many things of lesser importance - although they say knowing you have a problem is the first step towards addressing it. Seriously, I highly doubt this is something that only affects me, so I will struggle with this idea for a while and see what happens. I mean realistically, in the "long run" scale of importance there isn't anything with a longer run than your spiritual journey now is there?