window to the soul

No, I'm not talking about eyes, but rather dreams. Last night I had an interesting dream, it was probably a culmination of all the things on my mind but it seemed very real at times. So first let me start by giving a brief overview of my fairly typical day yesterday. Between tasks at work I browsed my favorite blogs and websites, essentially catching up on news of the day and reading interesting Christian articles or musings. At the end of my day I decided to download and listen to one of Brian McLaren's sermons entitled Thank God It's Monday: Finding Meaning in Your Work, it was a fresh perspective on how you can view your daily job in the context of Christianity. Lastly, I decided to start a list of churches in the area that I would like to start checking out, when we are not running around the Northeast on weekends. In starting the list, I tried to look beyond a church's affiliation or name, and glean some information about the health and overall mindset of the community. And yes, this meant that a church going on my list had to have at least some minimum form of a website. I actually find a website to be a step in the right direction, for me it indicates a recognition that the Internet exists and people do research churches online -- look at me, I am a prime example.

So, now back to the task at hand, the dream. Claire and I went to church, one that I had decided to visit. The building was large and had that new "contemporary cathedral" feeling, but at the same time it was inviting. Since it was a dream, I don't remember there being a sermon or singing or prayer, but I do remember communion. They passed around the bread, which tore like it was a tortilla or pita, but it had a savory, sweet taste. They passed around the cup, and it was literally a cup, not the little separated juice thimbles. The liquid in the cup wasn't wine or grape juice, it instead was an invigorating golden colored refreshment. Since we were near the back I noticed that they seemed a bit overwhelmed in collecting back up the communion plates, so I got up to help and it felt completely natural and comfortable to do so. I gathered up some plates, and with my arms nearly full, trying not to drop anything, I followed the others in to a different room. On the way there I noticed that the entire church was suddenly empty, which was odd (obviously). As we put the remains of communion away, we started chatting and they told me that this week's communion was actually comprised of beer and some kind of preserved meat. Since I was obviously surprised to hear this, they explained that they switch up the communion symbols so that people focus on the spiritual meaning not the items themselves. We walked outside and I saw that all the church members hadn't disappeared, they were outside enjoying themselves - children playing, adults chatting, and all out in the open. Claire came outside, lead by some of wives of the guys I was with (we were all fairly close in age - that 23-35 group), and they joined up with us in conversation. I asked the guys if they had ever heard or read anything about emergent, and recognition registered on all their faces and so did caution. They explained that they had, but that the church leadership was not accepting of it in a widespread fashion. Individuals were free to pursue, but the concepts and ideas were not going to be shared during normal church services. I started to ask them about getting together, whether for study, discussion, or socializing, and they seemed to like the idea. Then the dream started unraveling and I woke up.... with the persistent thought of small group gatherings.

While this is most likely nothing more than my subconscious sorting through all the drifting thoughts of the day, it does give me hope. Hope that I will find a church home, and hope that I will find others who think like I do in my area. But if I find myself sitting in church savoring a communion of beer and meat with a bunch of joyful, smiling people... I'll know I'm home.