trying to curl up in a comfortable blanket

So there I was, out on one of my daily lunchtime walks. Normally, I would walk without any music, instead enjoying the quiet time to reflect on faith, spirituality, and other things as they relate to my life and outlook in this 21st century. Following my walks, I would typically jot down whatever new earth-shattering revelations or perspectives I had mused upon. However, this time was different, I had taken a break from waxing philosophical and instead had popped my new favorite band (Switchfoot) into my Sony NetMD and struck out on my usual route. I still had spiritual issues dwelling in the back of my mind, but instead I let the music and its lyrics take the forefront. That walk was very inspirational, the lyrics that Switchfoot has in their album The Beautiful Letdown are very subtle at first, but also very potent when you go back and really listen. I attempted to sit down and write about that walk, in my own primer for 21st Christianity, but I couldn't do it. Instead I went back and re-read what I had already and reflected on what it was I really was trying to accomplish - and it hit me. I was writing down my perspective and understanding of what 21st century Christianity should be, because I wanted others to believe what I believed. It would become my standard of comparison for church communities, something I could use to determine if they agreed with me. I am actually being a little hard on myself, but the core of what I was trying to do was essentially creating a new, warm and fuzzy blanket of religion that I could curl up in with my spirituality.

You ever notice what happens when you curl up in a blanket? First, you kind of wrestle with the blanket trying to make sure that every part of you is covered up. Then you feel a draft, so you start tucking the blanket in closer around yourself. Perhaps now there is no draft, but its not warm enough so you curl up a little more concentrating your warmth. Finally, everything is perfectly warm and cozy, only problem is now you don't want to move. Now that you are warm and comfortable you don't want to leave where you are or open the blanket up. The blanket which previously was a tool to warm you up, has now become the reason for you to remain static, fixed, unchanging, closed off. The blanket which at first was a really great idea, has now become a self-imposed prison.

I still walk almost everyday, or at least as often as my schedule allows, but no longer hammer out the details of my personal religious beliefs for insertion into my own "Postmodern Christian Primer". I might go back and re-engineer it into a thought-provoking essay about being a technological, scientific, intellectual, philosophical, happily-married 21st century Christian... but that's a topic for another day.